A common question many Career Women ask is: Why don’t I get the support I need from my spouse when I’m trying to birth my “MORE”?
There are usually a few core reasons and understanding them can help you approach the situation differently.
1. You don’t ask for support from your spouse
The very first reason is that you don’t ask for support.
We often feel we are “super women” and can do it all or we expect our husbands to magically know we need support.
Sis, you didn’t marry a witch or a wizard, how is he supposed to know?
Sometimes, we know we need support but we are unclear on where we really need it.
What to do at first is, to look through all the different things you need help with and actually articulate what you need help with.
The founder of Uncommon Woman Movement, Mrs. Iphie Chuks-Adizue, shared a powerful example from her own journey of birthing her “MORE.”
At the time, she was focused on getting promoted at work, she reviewed her schedule and realised where she needed help was with a driver.
If she had a driver, she wouldn’t have to drive back and forth and would be able to pick up her son from school easily. . She identified one specific area where she needed support: transportation.
When she asked for a driver, she ended up getting not just the driver, but also her husband’s support in picking up their son from school.
The lesson here is to understand where you need help and then ask for it.
2. He’s Genuinely Worried About You
Sometimes, your spouse’s lack of immediate support comes from genuine concern.
He may see how busy and tired you already are and worry about how you’ll cope with adding something new to your plate.
What you need here is communication.
Explain how you plan to manage your responsibilities, take care of yourself and still honour your commitments at home.
Explain how these are things you are passionate about and how you want to express yourself.
Understanding his concerns and addressing them thoughtfully helps him feel included rather than sidelined.
3. Fear of Disrespect and Loss of Priority
The third reason why some men would not be supportive of their wives when they want to birth their “MORE” is because there might be a silent, nagging thought behind it.
This thought is not necessarily driven by what they’ve experienced, but maybe what they have seen or heard.
The general conception is that when a woman becomes “big,” she becomes disrespectful and you cannot tell her what to do, she loses it.
When the Bible talks about the Proverbs 31 woman, it says her husband trusted in her.
This is not just about trusting you to be faithful; he’s trusting that he is still your priority.
No matter how big, powerful or famous you become, your husband is still the priority. You would respect him and his needs are a priority to you.
He might not be sure you’ll be able to do this because situations haven’t come up where you have shown differently. What is in his mind is possibly what he has seen or heard.
You need to start showing in your current place that he is your priority, his needs are a priority and respecting him is a priority because he is the head of the house.
Your husband wants to know that he is still the man in your life, your backbone and that you look at him as such.
He wants to protect and take care of you. You need to allow him to do that.
Another reason is that they fear when you become successful, you will be disrespectful or change.
You need to show him that you wouldn’t change, even in the small things and keep affirming it as God blesses you.
SEE ALSO: MANAGING YOUR FINANCES AS A CAREER WOMAN WITH A SIDE BUSINESS
